Sex. The majority of people will have it in their lives. Our grandparents, parents, the old couple living next door, your university roommates….it’s a fact of life. It’s natural. Now, in the year 2016, sex isn’t as much of a taboo as it was even 30 years ago, it’s everywhere we look, really. First there was the porn industry which started to book in the 70s, then the Internet, which expanded the porn industry, then came TV series Sex and the City, more recently we’ve seen the likes of 50 Shades of Grey and films such as Lovelace which gives an insight into 70s porn culture. Even in all of today’s popular TV shows, sex plays a huuuuuge part, I mean have you seen Game of Thrones?! But even with the breakdown of sex as a taboo, what is portrayed to us is not real.
Fifty Shades of Grey (FSOG) with all the controversy surrounding it, you have to admit that it sets unreal, and actually dangerous expectations for sex. My knowledge on BDSM relationships is limited, but as far as I’m aware, the portrayal of it in FSOG is not at all true to life, and the relationship portrayed in said film has been criticised for being abusive. How is this an accurate portrayal of a healthy, sexual relationship?!
Take Sex and the City, which is a TV show following a group of 4 women and their love lives. This show differs slightly in that the portrayal of sex here is not ‘perfect’. They do discuss more real issues, for example Charlotte and her husbands marital issues of erectial dysfunction. Another character portrays the struggle of not being able to climax. The show as a whole revolves around the not so perfect side of sex and dating, however this is rare, even now, almost twenty years after Sex and the City first aired.
Sex these days is never portrayed as it actually is in real life. Sure, sex can be ‘perfect’, however let’s not forget that sex isn’t always like this. Why doesn’t the media ever feature the *really not attractive* parts of sex? Or what about the times where it just doesn’t go to plan? Maybe you’ve fallen off the bed, banged your head or got cramp in your foot at the completely wrong time. At the end of the day, sex is two bodies, stripped bare, body parts flying my everywhere, it’s not always pretty, trust me. However, all of this is perfectly normal but this side of sex is never shown in the media. This leads people to believe they are abnormal. That’s the problem with the media and with Hollywood. They only ever portray what they want. Sex sells, yes….but only ‘perfect sex sells’. People with completely flat stomachs, toned bodies, shaved genitals, 10 inch penises….these unrealistic portrayals of sex make for very unrealistic expectations of our own sexual encounters. I think the point I’m trying to get across is that it’s totally ok if your sex isn’t like the sex that is portrayed constantly on our screens. It doesn’t make you abnormal. As long as your experiences with sex are consensual, make you feel good and are experiences that you find enjoyable, then that is perfect for you. To hell with the unrealistic expectations set by the media!!!
Love, Rach xoxo