Sex: The portrayal of sex in the media

Sex. The majority of people will have it in their lives. Our grandparents, parents, the old couple living next door, your university roommates….it’s a fact of life. It’s natural. Now, in the year 2016, sex isn’t as much of a taboo as it was even 30 years ago, it’s everywhere we look, really. First there was the porn industry which started to book in the 70s, then the Internet, which expanded the porn industry, then came TV series Sex and the City, more recently we’ve seen the likes of 50 Shades of Grey and films such as Lovelace which gives an insight into 70s porn culture. Even in all of today’s popular TV shows, sex plays a huuuuuge part, I mean have you seen Game of Thrones?! But even with the breakdown of sex as a taboo, what is portrayed to us is not real.

Fifty Shades of Grey (FSOG) with all the controversy surrounding it, you have to admit that it sets unreal, and actually dangerous expectations for sex. My knowledge on BDSM relationships is limited, but as far as I’m aware, the portrayal of it in FSOG is not at all true to life, and the relationship portrayed in said film has been criticised for being abusive. How is this an accurate portrayal of a healthy, sexual relationship?! 


Take Sex and the City, which is a TV show following a group of 4 women and their love lives. This show differs slightly in that the portrayal of sex here is not ‘perfect’. They do discuss more real issues, for example Charlotte and her husbands marital issues of erectial dysfunction. Another character portrays the struggle of not being able to climax. The show as a whole revolves around the not so perfect side of sex and dating, however this is rare, even now, almost twenty years after Sex and the City first aired.


 Sex these days is never portrayed as it actually is in real life. Sure, sex can be ‘perfect’, however let’s not forget that sex isn’t always like this. Why doesn’t the media ever feature the *really not attractive* parts of sex? Or what about the times where it just doesn’t go to plan? Maybe you’ve fallen off the bed, banged your head or got cramp in your foot at the completely wrong time. At the end of the day, sex is two bodies, stripped bare, body parts flying my everywhere, it’s not always pretty, trust me. However, all of this is perfectly normal but this side of sex is never shown in the media. This leads people to believe they are abnormal. That’s the problem with the media and with Hollywood. They only ever portray what they want. Sex sells, yes….but only ‘perfect sex sells’. People with completely flat stomachs, toned bodies, shaved genitals, 10 inch penises….these unrealistic portrayals of sex make for very unrealistic expectations of our own sexual encounters. I think the point I’m trying to get across is that it’s totally ok if your sex isn’t like the sex that is portrayed constantly on our screens. It doesn’t make you abnormal. As long as your experiences with sex are consensual, make you feel good and are experiences that you find enjoyable, then that is perfect for you. To hell with the unrealistic expectations set by the media!!! 
Love, Rach xoxo


9 thoughts on “Sex: The portrayal of sex in the media

  1. This is an excellent post 🙂 And it’s an important point that parents should teach teenage boys (as uncomfortable as that talk would be!). The casual sex scenes we see in mainstream films is enough to damage a young man’s view of not just sex… but also how women behave. I.e. “how come my girlfriend doesn’t act turned on when we go to the beach? She’s not sexy enough for me. I should be with someone else.”

    I really hope everyone is aware that Hollywood is NOT a good source of education, especially when it comes to sex and relationships.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This is a fantastic post and one I agree with completely. There needs to be more to portray are more realistic view of sex and how it really is. I’ve seen instances in my friends and myself where unrealistic expectations were put upon us in regards to sex and how we should act and look during such. A point I would add on how sex is shown in the media as solely being for men’s satisfaction (even lesbian porn is targeted towards men) and that women that enjoy sex are whores and have no self respect.

    Jasmine | http://kkochsongi.blogspot.co.uk

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Thank you so much, Jasmine. You always leave great comments for me! I totally agree with you- it’s sad that this is the only sex that we are exposed to if you get me.
    I totally agree, what a brilliant point!!! Rarely, if ever, are women the target audience.
    I could have wrote so much more here but with it being my first sex related post I was a bit wary, just in case it wasn’t well received, luckily everyone has been supportive! 🙂
    Thank you again for your comment Jasmine ❤️ xx


  4. I love this post! I also think it’s very important to let our teenagers know that when it comes to sex, not wanting it all the time is perfectly fine and wanting it all the time is too. When I was a teenager I thought all men and especially teenage boys thought about sex all the time. I was therefore very frustrated when I found that my (then boyfriend) husband didn’t and he doesn’t have much of a libido and never has. I went through thinking there was something wrong with him, to thinking there was something wrong with me to thinking I just wasn’t sexy enough, but it’s just the way he is. And he went through the same, thinking there was something wrong with him.
    The stereotype of the man who’s always ready to bang is very damaging for young men. And the stereotype of middle aged married women who never want sex is also very damaging, because it leads women to think there is something wrong with them when they’re not like that.
    Loved the post, I really think we need to be more open about the realities of sex and how different it is, not only from the mainstream media, but also for different people.

    Liked by 1 person

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