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Body positivity and your mental health 💜

I’m writing this from my bed at 3.15pm. I’m in bed because I feel too sad to do anything. I can’t concentrate on my university assignment. I’m not in the mood to talk to my family. I don’t even want to move from my bed for the rest of the day. All because I weighed myself. Yep, seeing my weight has made me feel like this (on top of university work stress and various other things), but yes, my body is the main issue. About 2 months ago I joined the gym. I love going, and was going pretty regularly for the first month. This last month has been different. I go about once a week on average, which really isn’t a lot. When I started the gym, I was unhappy with my weight, and in that first month I lost weight and was on my way to what I thought was my dream body. How wrong was I?! This past month, my anxiety has come back with a vengeance, I have lots of stressful things going on in my life, so my gym going has decreased…at the same time as my food intake has increased. This has led me to put on a stone, taking me to a larger weight than I was when I first started the gym. As you can probably tell, this has made my mental health a million times worse. I wake up each day telling myself that I’m going to eat healthily, but my 2pm I’m craving junk food, or fizzy drinks, or all of the carbs. I have no confidence to even go to the gym, the only time I feel sort of happy going to the gym is with my boyfriend. Even though I have gone on my own, it kinda petrifies me, especially as I’m feeling so down about my appearance. I’ve been trying to take steps to improve my self confidence, like wearing makeup more often, which helps for a day, but soon I’m feeling even worse again. I don’t even know why I’m writing this because I have no positive message to even give to you all. I guess this is just a little cry for help, it’s me reaching out to see if anyone else has these struggles. I know that I should accept myself for who I am and concentrate on self love, but I find it so hard to think positively about myself when I feel like a whale. Oh well, tomorrow is another day. Maybe I’ll feel more positive then. 💜

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16 thoughts on “Body positivity and your mental health 💜

  1. When I was 12 stone I thought I was fat. I went on a ‘lets loose a stone or two and i’ll feel amazing!!!’ as if I wasn’t amazing before that. At the time I couldn’t afford a gym membership so focused on running, wii fit and online zumba videos. I would do this on and off much in the same way as you. It would be like one month is workout month, then coursework came around and became the priority and my mindset would just forget about my health completely. Then afterwards I would be all motivated and weigh myself only to find I was back where I started, or worse another few pounds over.

    Then I hit rock bottom when I fell out with my uni flatmates, met the love of my life who ate like a horse and I comfort ate all my troubles away (he wasn’t rock bottom for me, he just amplified my health issues lol). Then a bunch of family stuff happened that made me turn to food even more to the point where I reached 15 stone.

    At this point, I was so ashamed and embarrassed to work out at all. Boredom took over and I just ate my way so beyond my goal up to 19 stone where I am now. It’s gotten to the point where it’s affecting my daily health and it’s just so so embarrassing to even say that. The stupid thing is this all started with me hating my body and look where it got me. I think it’s so easy for us to focus on our weaknesses to make ourselves better and glance over what makes us amazing that you end up in this pit of self-pity and self-hate.

    Yes it’s amazing if you could go to the gym more than once a week and tone up your body but if you don’t that is absolutely OK. You’re not a bad or unmotivated person for doing that at all. You’ve been blogging for around 8 months now, clearly you have motivation 😊.

    You’ll definitely have days like today where it all seems like too much but if you think of your life as a whole you’ve probably got so much to be proud of that you’re overlooking.

    Try and remember that despite all the negativity there will always be positive parts to your life that if you focus on, can drive you on further. I know it’s easier said than done but I hope this helps a little and also that you feel better soon.

    P.s. sorry for seeming like i’m stalking your life at the moment – revision procrastination at it’s finest lol

    P.s.s. Sorry this is so long, enjoy reading the essay 😂

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    1. Thank you so much for your comment (essay lol).
      I’m sorry to hear about your struggles. ❤️
      I hope you’re currently feeling happy and healthy. ✨
      It’s amazing how factors like stress impact on our eating habits. I’m exactly the same. I also eat all my troubles away.
      Thank you for all your kind words, you’ve made me smile! I hope that this is just a little bump in the road and I’ll be feeling like myself in no time! ❤️
      No I get it haha! Procrastination leads me to Instagram stalking lol! Xxx

      Liked by 1 person

  2. This makes me feel so sad to read this and gear how your feeling right now. I can’t really pretend to understand because I haven’t been through it, but I’m sure there is light at the end of the tunnel and you won’t feel like this forever. I don’t really have any advice, im not good at that sort of thing but you’re right, tomorrow is a new day and hopefully you will feel better! Xx
    Ps you’re not a whale so don’t think that!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for your comments. I am hoping it’s just another bad day. Hopefully I’ll be feeling back to normal tomorrow! ❤️
      You’ve been so supportive since we started following each other, so thank you soooo much for that! ❤️
      I hope you’re well! Xxx

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Fingers crossed for you, im sure that’s all it is! Aw no problem, I find a friendly/suportive comment can make such a difference sometimes if I’m having a bad day! I’m good thank you, take care of yourself! 😊 xx

        Liked by 1 person

  3. First of all and most importantly, I bet you look beautiful! We’re always so hard on ourselves when really everyone else thinks we look great. It’s so hard to think like that though, I have really bad anxiety and a poor self image so I understand where you’re coming from. I’m trying to improve my lifestyle and eat better and workout more too, maybe we could try and encourage each other? 🙂 Always remember tomorrow is another day and it can change. Hope everything gets better for you soon, I’m sure it will!

    P.S. I also think you’re a really good writer! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you. I am my own worst critic but it’s so hard to think positively about myself on days like today.
      Oh no! 😦 I’m sorry to hear you suffer from it too!
      Yes we definitely will encourage each other ! ❤️
      Thank you again for your lovely comments – I am so glad you enjoy my writing! Xxx

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Trust me, I know! I am so hard on myself for no reason. It’s way easier said than done but try and remember that no one else is thinking that about you! 🙂
        So many people do, I’m always so amazed that many people do! But it’s hard to remember that sometimes.
        Great, I could really use the encouragement! No problem, I honestly really did 🙂 Looking forward to your next post and I hope you had a better rest of the day 🙂 xxx

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Rach, you really look great, like amazing. you’re beautiful. I’m trying not to wish things about myself, but if I could have your figure, I’d be so happy. As you know, I had eating problems. Before I had anorexia I was 10 stone and looked great but I couldn’t see it and diets turned in to starving myself. now that I am better, I am bigger than I’ve ever been, by about two and a half stone! But I’m also the happiest I’ve ever been. Most days I am so self conscious but what’s the point? I have to wait till I’m 100% better and even then I probably won’t do anything. I eat what I like, I get anxious trying to force myself to eat healthy constantly but I am a healthy person, I eat fruit and veg in bulk and have the odd treat. What I’m trying to say is your perception of yourself is different to how others see you and numbers don’t mean you’re not beautiful.
    I hope you feel better and can get through this, flower. As always I’m here for you 🌞🌹

    Liked by 1 person

    1. This has really put a smile on my face.
      It’s sad how people are never happy with what they’ve got! 😦
      I think you look amazing too, and I’d happily swap with you! 🙊❤️
      I hope you’re having a lovely, positive day. I’m always here for you, too! You’re amazing! ❤️✨

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  5. It took me years to take my mental healthy seriously – I thought I was just a worrier, and fobbed it off for ages. Now that I’ve acknowledged it and started treating it with respect, I feel a lot more at peace with it. It’s part of my person, it’s always going to be part of my person, and I don’t want to fight with it. On my down days, I’ve learnt to not be so hard on myself and give myself a physical break, whether that’s a lie in or a bar of chocolate or a telly binge, because pushing it back all the time is exhausting. So if you only feel happy going to the gym with your boyfriend, so what? Remember it still counts, it’s not a failure on your part! I battled with my anxiety all the way through uni and even though it was a nightmare, I got through it. Don’t be too hard on yourself chick, give your mind what it’s asking for from time to time x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree – I think I was the same, I think I’ve suffered with it longer than I actually realised because when I look back the warning signs are so clear!
      I’m so glad you’re learning to deal with it!
      I’m trying to learn to give myself a break, it’s hard though! 😦
      That’s what I’m doing tonight though, I need a night off everything so I’m gonna chill in the bath with a book! 🙂 xxx

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It is hard because you feel like everyone else can keep it together, so you must be doing something wrong. Obvs that’s not the case but once you’re in that mindset, it’s hard to get out. Possible though 😊
        That sounds lush, exactly how I’ve spent my evening actually! Hope you’re feeling a bit perkier xxx

        Liked by 1 person

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